Bleeding
by DaLizzie
Summary: Really angsty little songfic. I'll let you find out what the pairing is, but let it be known that this is yaoi! That's what the PG13 rating is for. That, and the general dark attitude of the whole thing.


A/N: Eh, this is just something that I came up with while listening to Evanescence over and over again with nothing to do. Anyways, please R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: My Immortal is by Evanescence, not me, and I don't own YuGiOh, either.  
  
~I'm so tired of being here~  
  
I'm looking around at this place that I used to love. This place that I used to cherish. Now, it is a prison for me. I don't want to be here anymore. This place that used to give me so much warmth and love, now gives me nothing but pain. I just. don't want to be in this place anymore.  
  
~Suppressed by all my childish fears~  
  
It seems as if every shadow will jump out and attack me now. I'll admit it, I used to be afraid of the dark. Thunderstorms, too. All those fears are now coming back to me, with no way to chase them away anymore.  
  
~And if you have to leave~  
  
Was it really something that you had to do? I suppose you didn't really have a choice. It was just one moment, you were there, and the next, you weren't. Didn't feel a thing, everyone told me. They talk about it like it was almost a good thing that you were gone so fast. I know I shouldn't be so spiteful, but. I can't help it much anymore.  
  
~I wish that you would just leave~  
  
If you really left so suddenly, then why is it taking you so long? I wish you could stay so bad, but if you're really going to go away, then please just leave. I can't take it thinking that I could still hold on to you when I really can't.  
  
~'Cause your presence still lingers here~  
  
I see you sitting in your favorite chair near the fireplace. I see you greeting me from the kitchen table as I come downstairs in the morning. I see you everywhere. You were always everywhere before, everywhere that I needed you to be. If you were always there when I needed you, then why aren't you here now?  
  
~And it won't leave me alone~  
  
These visions of you always come around when I don't need them. When I'm telling my friends I'm fine, that they don't need to worry about me, I'll suddenly see you coming toward us with a big smile on your face only to disappear a few feet away. Every time Grandpa asks me if I'm okay, you'll be sitting in that chair by the fireplace, reading some book that you borrowed from me. If you're gone, then why are you always there in front of my eyes to torture me with a vision that I cannot touch?  
  
~These wounds won't seem to heal~  
  
Blood. Whether you died instantly or not, I still saw the blood. And now I am bleeding, too. You can't see the blood, but my heart is an open wound that has been bleeding openly for the past four weeks and three days.  
  
~This pain is just to real~  
  
It hurts so much now. I've never felt any pain, emotional or physical, that was as horrible as this. This pain is always here, no matter how much I try to forget about it to make it go away. It stays with me even when I sleep, haunting my dreams with visions of you coming so close then suddenly being so far away. It hurts so much.  
  
~There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
Some people say that I need time to get over such a terrible loss. How can time make something this terrible go away? Time only seems to cut the wounds deeper, making it known that no matter how much time passes, the wounds will still be there, never to heal.  
  
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears~  
  
I never saw you cry until that one night. You woke suddenly, sweating and panting. You had been screaming before you woke up, screaming my name. I could feel your fear, your pain. You clung to me as if I was your only lifeline, and then I felt something wet on your face. You were crying, for the first time in front of me. It was heartbreaking to see someone as strong as you cry, yet I held you as you had often held me.  
  
~When you scream, I'd fight away all of your fears~  
  
I asked you later on, when you'd calmed down, why you had been screaming and crying. You looked away, and I eventually pieced together from your slightly broken explanation that you had a nightmare in which I was taken away from you forever. I got as close to you as I physically could, and promised you a thousand times over that I would never, ever leave you.  
  
~I held your hand through all of these years~  
  
Looking farther back, I remember you walking with me as we made our way home. I was still incredibly shy around you, and was blushing madly when you took my hand as we walked down the street. Later on, it became my favorite thing as we walked together. Our intertwined fingers were our link to each other, letting the other know that we were there and reminding each other of our secret promise to never, ever leave.  
  
~But you still have all of me~  
  
I'm not sure if you ever knew this or not, but. you became the holder of my heart. It somehow flew into your hands long before you even knew that you had it. You hold all my dreams, all my hope, all my love, in your gentle hands. I have trusted many with such things before, and many times that trust has been broken. But not by you. You cradled my heart in your hands like it was the most precious thing in the world, as I cradled your heart in mine.  
  
~You used to captivate me~  
  
I would get absolutely lost in you, in those beautiful, piercing eyes of yours. I would become lost in them, and suddenly you were all that existed. My tongue would stop working and my heart would cease to beat, just by you looking at me and me looking back. For some strange reason, it felt so wonderful.  
  
~By your resonating light~  
  
You were awfully cold to people when I first met you. Why you opened up to me, of all people, is beyond my comprehension. But I knew, when I first saw you, that all the darkness that seemed to come off you in waves to keep everyone else away was only a mask. I was right. Within you was such a wonderful light that you had kept hidden, somehow afraid to show it. I was so glad when you finally weren't afraid anymore.  
  
~But now I'm bound by the life you left behind~  
  
If you couldn't stay, then why couldn't you have taken me with you? You left me behind, for the first time. I tell myself so often that you would want me to live, but sometimes it's so hard to feel this pain. I don't care whether we're alive or dead, I just want to be with you.  
  
~Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams~  
  
I see you always in my dreams. It always starts out with some happy memory of us that my subconscious comes up with, then it always ends the same. The rain. The crack of thunder as we ran to get home. The sudden shouts. I turned around, and you were gone. That's always when I wake up, with tears on my face and a cry on my lips.  
  
~Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me~  
  
I could never, ever say no to you. Your voice was beautiful music to me, a lullaby that pulled me into a world where all that existed was you and me. I can hear it even now, echoing through my head. And even now, it banishes all logical thought and takes me back to that world of us that it created.  
  
~These wounds won't seem to heal~  
  
The bleeding has not stopped. I don't think it will ever stop. There is a gaping hole in my heart that your absence has created, and it hurts almost too much to bear. I've tried to make the bleeding stop, I really have, but it just won't. The flow continues, and all I can seem to do is to add my tears to it.  
  
~This pain is just too real~  
  
The pain is becoming almost too much. So much that I want it to just end, for me to be tossed into sweet oblivion like you were. Every time I manage to escape into some dream or fantasy of us together again, the pain brings me back to the reality where you are once again only a dream that I cannot hold on to.  
  
~There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
It seems like so much time has passed since that day, and it has done nothing to make the awful memories fade. Time will never completely erase them. They will remain with me until the day I die, however far away that may be.  
  
~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears~  
  
I remember gently wiping away the tears that you cried on that night, telling you that everything was all right, that it was just a bad dream. It was just a bad dream. Why couldn't this be? Can't I just wake up, like you did?  
  
~When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears~  
  
You told me that you had screamed and cried for it to not be real, wishing so hard that it had just been a bad dream that you could wake up from. For you, it was. You were lucky.  
  
~I held your hand through all of these years~  
  
I held your hand tightly then, telling you over and over that it was just a dream, that I was just fine and wasn't going anywhere. I reach out now, but your hand does not touch mine like it used to.  
  
~You still have all of me~  
  
How strange. My heart still beats in my chest. If you hold my heart, then how can it still be here? It is the source of my pain now, the enormous void that has formed where my heart used to be.  
  
~I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone~  
  
I tried to get myself to accept it, like everyone said to. Denial comes first, the experts say, then eventually acceptance. If that's true, then I've been in denial for over a month. I know that you're gone, it's just that. I don't want to believe it. Some part of me is still clinging to the lost hope that this is just a bad dream.  
  
~But though you're still with me~  
  
Those visions of you are still there, always haunting me. It's almost as if you're still there, like I could reach out and touch your smiling face. But before my hand can touch you, you disappear before my eyes.  
  
~I've been alone all along~  
  
All those times that I've tried to touch those visions of you, I know that you were never really there. I'm alone. Completely and totally alone.  
  
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears~  
  
You cried for me that night, and I came to you and held you.  
  
~When you scream, I'd fight away all of your fears~  
  
You screamed for me that night, and I promised you that I'd never leave.  
  
~I held your hand through all of these years~  
  
I held your hand for so long, and renewed that promise as often as I could.  
  
~You still have all of me~  
  
You still hold my heart, but you are no longer here. You are dead, and so is my heart.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yugi? Yugi? Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine, Yami. It was just. just a bad dream."  
  
A/N: I can't believe I put that thing at the end. I guess I wanted a happy ending, though I think it might have been better without it. Oh, well, it's after midnight now. Must sleep. ZZzzzZZZ.. 


End file.
